I Couldn’t Help but Wonder: Re-watching Sex and The City

Written By : Hannah Corbett

“Carrie ends up with Big in the end.”

That’s actually something my ex-boyfriend from college said to me once. And whenever I rewatch Sex and the City, I think of that moment—because it’s true. She does end up with Big, at least in the show and the movies. But Big is dead now—they killed him off. And if my life were a TV show, it’s safe to say that my ex isn’t a season regular anymore.

Every May, I love to rewatch Sex and the City. It’s when I first started watching it, and I always get nostalgic for this time of year—when I was living in the city, going to school, and playing out my own Carrie Bradshaw fantasies right after watching an episode. My fantasies were definitely less extravagant than hers—17-year-old me wasn’t walking in designer shoes or typing out columns in a perfectly lit apartment—more like my dorm room with way too many fairy lights, but it still felt like I was living up to my potential.

The other day, I saw Halley Kate on TikTok saying that every boyfriend should watch Sex and the City, and honestly, I agree—if you can get yours to sit down for it. The show actually does a great job of capturing women’s real and raw emotions, and it makes me wonder if it changed the trajectory of my own life.

I never liked how Big treated Carrie. But for a long time, I let myself think, “Well, if Carrie keeps going back to Big, I can keep going back to my ex.” The truth is, though, I always loved Carrie and Aidan together. Aidan wasn’t the whirlwind, heart-racing, leave-you-on-read type. He was stable, warm, and loved Carrie even with all her flaws and mistakes. And somehow she still messed that up. And for what?

To end up kissing Aidan in Abu Dhabi five years later? To end up widowed because Big had a heart attack on a Peloton? Just to circle back to Aidan again in the reboot? It seems like she could’ve saved herself a lot of pain if she’d just let herself feel safe and seen.

I totally get it though. Big and Carrie, Carrie and big. It’s a different type of love story. Two people who couldn’t seem to stay away from each other, no matter how complicated it got. Their romance was a whirlwind of passion, hurt, and a friendship that somehow managed to survive it all. Maybe that’s why we keep coming back—not just to Sex and the City, but to those people in our lives who feel like unfinished stories. The ones you wonder about, the ones who left their mark but never quite fit into the final chapter.

And yet, here I am, with my Aidan. It’s different now. There’s no toxic tug-of-war, no rollercoaster of emotion. It’s calm, steady—like we’re finally writing the pages of a love that doesn’t need to be messy to be real. So now when I re-watch the show, my focus is turned to the friendships, the fashion, the city.

The steamy romances and whirlwind love affairs still capture my attention. But now, watching them navigate life together, I realize: it’s the friendships that are the real love story. These women, in all their imperfections, weren’t just there for the fun nights out or the deep convos about weird men. They were there for the disappointments, the failures, the moments when love let them down. It’s the way they held each other up, even when the world was falling apart, that makes their bond the true backbone of the show.

So, next time you plan your rewatch of Sex and the City, try something different—focus on the friendships, not just the relationships.