“I’m In My ‘Anti-Era’ Era”
Written By : Grace Weidenhamer
I would say that I’m in my self-improvement era, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of this article.
It seems like we are all obsessed with categorizing our lives into “eras” (thanks Swifties). It’s an all-or-nothing mindset. I have been reading “Think Like a Monk” by Jay Shetty and one chapter really made me stop and think. He explains that we tend to look at our lives as disconnected pieces (aka, eras) instead of a whole storyline that comes together in perfect unison, with failure, success, highs and lows teaching us lessons that advance the plot (p.61).
We don’t have to always categorize our lives in eras. Multiple things can be true at once. You can be really happy in your relationship, but unhappy at work. You can be failing in one area while you are succeeding in another. You can be in your “soft girl era” while you are working on being more assertive and confident. You can live in the moment and also look ahead to the future.
You don’t have to be in a specific “era” all the time, and it’s okay if you have no idea how you would even categorize your “era”. Things will ebb and flow, our interests will change, and our aesthetics will fluctuate. I think trying to put your personality, hobbies, interests, or lifestyle in a box makes you miss out on other opportunities that may not fit inside that perfectly wrapped package.
Shetty explains, “When we learn to stop segmenting experiences and periods of our life and instead see them as scenes and acts in a larger narrative, we gain perspective that helps us deal with fear” (p.61).
I think a lot of self-improvement media tricks us into thinking that if we live our lives a certain way, or make these changes, then we will become immune to negative experiences, thoughts, or circumstances. Unfortunately, I don’t think lifestyle or mindset changes will completely eliminate bad things from life. There’s going to be rough parts. In those rough parts, if we look at our life as a collective story rather than a “bad era”, we may notice that the challenges we are facing, or have faced, make the good moments even better. Maybe because of the bad moments, we become even more grateful for moments we otherwise wouldn’t appreciate.
I guess what I am trying to say is that although it can feel nice to have your life organized in eras that keep us focused on improving one area of our lives, it can also be detrimental to our growth and perception of life. We can be all things, all at once. We can be nothing at the same time. I think we will all experience a little more freedom when we stop trying to categorize everything and limit ourselves to endless possibilities.