Fake it, Feel it, Become it!
Written By : Grace Weidenhamer
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Fake it until you make it.”
Most take it with a grain of salt, as it's usually used in a sarcastic or self-deprecating way. But if you think about it, there have probably been a few instances where you’ve faked it until you made it, you just haven’t realized it. My early report cards always said the same thing: “She’s a pleasure to have in class, but doesn’t speak up.” I knew people saw me as more of an observer than a participant. Maybe that was just my undiagnosed anxiety, or maybe I had let myself believe that was who I was because that’s what I was told. I hated it when my peers would say, “Why don’t you ever talk?” or, “You’re so quiet.”
Maybe I wouldn’t have been that affected by the comments if that were indeed my personality. But I didn’t want to be scared to speak up, or be known as the shy girl. I knew who I was deep down, but I wasn’t showing up as her.
I remember one day I realized that I didn’t have to be the “quiet one”. Why did I feel the need to feed into a reputation that I didn’t align with? It honestly gave me more anxiety than public speaking! It took a couple of weeks, maybe months (okay, honestly, maybe even years) to redefine myself. At this point, ironically, even if I hadn’t changed my reputation as far as my peers were concerned, I didn’t view myself as the shy girl anymore, and I actually didn’t care to stop and think about how people saw me. I was finally self-assured and confident in who I was.
Sometimes I forget just how powerful our minds are. I lived it firsthand, and I often still doubt that just showing up as the person you want to become can actually change your reality. I’m not going to get super woo woo here, but there’s something to be said about your thoughts being your reality. I never aligned with the reputation I had in my early years of school, but I lived every day believing that was just who I was.
If we decide to just be who we want to be, what is truly stopping it from becoming true? If you want to be a girl who works out every morning before work, what’s prohibiting you from showing up as that girl? If you want to be the person who demands attention, is a great public speaker,or is a successful business owner, who is telling you that you cannot be this person? Be honest with yourself... is it you?
Okay, now, if you wake up one day and say, “I am now the CEO of Google.”, that doesn’t
automatically make you the CEO of Google (but I don’t know for sure, I’ve never tried it). But if you decide that you are a successful and powerful leader at work and take actionable steps towards behaving as though you are that person, I don’t doubt that you’ll start to view yourself as exactly that. What you believe about yourself becomes your reality and your identity.
I was never a person who wanted to wake up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym, until I became the person who woke up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym. After showing up as that person for a few weeks, I started to look forward to that time. I was proud of myself and felt good about myself. I had changed my mindset and, therefore, changed my reality.
Sometimes, I go through stages of severe impostor syndrome. I’ll think, “Why am I posting like I’m an influencer? I’m totally not an influencer.” Says who?! Maybe social media isn’t my full-time job (yet😉), but I’m sure I’ve “influenced” someone at some point. Truly, the only person who is telling me I can’t be someone... is myself.
So, try showing up as the person you want to be, not the person you’ve just accepted yourself to be. Dress like the powerful businesswoman you are, post like the influencer you are, speak up as the self-confident person you are, and be your most authentic, unapologetic, and dream version of yourself that you know you are inside. Just remember, it’s all in your head!