Hot Take: Having a Boyfriend Is Actually Sexy, You Just Have the Ick

Written By : Hannah Corbett

British Vogue just dropped an opinion piece that’s breaking the internet titled, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?” Writer, Chanté Joseph, even goes as far to say “There’s nothing I hate more than following someone for fun, only for their content to become “my boyfriend”-ified suddenly.” The article reads on to say how she isn’t bashing people for being in love, but that women lose followers when they launch their boyfriend online. Girls are afraid of being perceived as losers, so they are cropping them out of pictures and acting like their partner doesn’t exist. So, after doing my own research (and a few Instagram polls), here’s what I actually think: having a boyfriend is actually sexy, if you’re not ick-ed out by him

And yes, I have one. But that’s not why.

After getting out of an on-and-off toxic relationship years ago, I was single for three years. While in the relationship, I felt like I never wanted to post him, I didn’t even want to show my friends pictures of him. So once I was single, independent, and loving it. I felt flirty, confident, everything being single should be. But when I fell in love again, and now four years into this relationship, I’ve never once felt embarrassed to have a boyfriend. Or hesitant to post him, or blur him out of a photo. I definitely felt the shift.

But do I make sappy boyfriend content? Hell no.

I started thinking about women I find inspiring — women with public lives and strong online presences who also happen to be in relationships. Paige Lorenze and Tommy Paul. Sofia Richie and Elliot Grainge. Hailey and Justin Bieber. They’re all married or engaged now, but even when they were just dating, they never lost their cool factor. Why? Because their relationships are private, not performative. Elusive, even.

They’re not defined by who they’re dating — they have their own aura, their own fame, their own style.

The “cool girl to embarrassing boyfriend pipeline” doesn’t exist.

Take some influencers as an example—Halley Kate and her boyfriend Reid. Halley herself is literally so cool. She’s built her whole career off of being authentic. And what she does share of their relationship feels—dare I say—chic? Same with Bridgette Phelong and her now fiancé. He’s an accessory to the content, not the content itself. We’re watching it because of her.

So I did a poll on our Instagram page: Is having a boyfriend actually embarrassing?

73% said no.

15% said they just don’t want to see them in content.

12% said yes—it’s embarrassing.

The reasons varied. One girl said, “I love my boyfriend, but I hate calling him that, I want to say husband or something.” Another simply said, “They suck.” Meanwhile, one of the “no’s” summed it up perfectly: “I love posting my boyfriend, he’s so hot.”

So clearly, there’s a spectrum.

But here’s my conclusion: having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing. And maybe if you think your boyfriend is embarrassing, I hate to say it, but maybe you dont actually like him, and you’re getting the ick.

This whole thing reminds me of The Summer I Turned Pretty. Having a boyfriend is sexy if your boyfriend is Conrad Fisher. If it’s Jeremiah. Well, you know what I mean.

The ick is real. And so is the fear of losing your identity in a relationship. But being in love doesn’t cancel out being cool. You can be both.

And if you don’t want to see someone’s boyfriend? Just keep scrolling.