Birthday Blues
Written By : Grace Weidenhamer
It’s my birthday month, and in true Leo fashion, I always look forward to my birthday. Getting to be the center of attention for the day and being surrounded by all of my favorite people. Even though I am a big fan of my birthday, I also hate it.
I was never the kid that dreamt of turning 16 or going off to college. Mainly because I hated growing up. I hate getting older because it reminds me that time is passing and things are changing. I remember crying on my tenth birthday because I felt like my childhood was over (I never claimed I wasn’t dramatic).
I have a love-hate relationship with change. I have a short attention span, so I’m constantly needing to change things up, but on the other hand, I am also sentimental and nostalgic, so change can be scary.
This year I turned 24 and made a rule that no one was allowed to remind me that I was turning 24 because it felt too old - too grown up. But I realized this year that although getting older is scary, the moments of change and growth are where life happens.
Just as we can’t grow in our comfort zone, we can’t experience everything that life has to offer without change. If somehow I got my wish as a kid and flew to Neverland with Peter Pan and never grew up, I would have missed out on a lot. As much as we think we want time to stand still to soak up as much as possible, we actually miss out on so much more if we are resistant to change.
In my old age (again, I never claimed I wasn’t dramatic), I realize that living in the moment is a double-edged sword. If we put too much pressure on the moment, we forget to just enjoy it. On the other hand, if we don’t pay attention, we miss it. That’s something I’m working on. Finding a balance between being present, while not putting pressure on the moment to be more than it is.
Life events and changes happen in the strangest ways, and often at times where we let go and stop trying to control it. To the best of my knowledge, we can’t stop time, and we can’t prevent the Earth from making another revolution around the sun. We can’t prevent getting older, and we can’t prevent change. We shouldn’t. Life happens in moments of change and growth.
If I didn’t make turning 24 such a big deal, it wouldn’t have been one. If I didn’t put so much pressure on getting older, it wouldn’t be so scary. So here’s to another year, possibly a pre-quarter-life-crisis, and a whole lot of change (and trying to welcome it).